The Colonel's Picks For January 30, 2013

"The buzzard has left the nest. Ring the bell." -Squish

Squish is one of my best field agents in the ongoing struggle againt Paula Deen. Squish has seen it all, man. When I received that text message, my old heart skipped a beat. She's never recovered this quickly before. Usually the hibernation/regeneration cycle takes a few months at least. Is she adapting somehow? Is this old Colonel no longer equipped to protect the world from her evil? I ring the bell.

Batman Inc. #7 (DC)

The battle between Bruce Wayne and Talia Al Ghul for the fate of their son continues and the Batman may already be down for the count. Will we finally learn the secret of the Heretic? Can Dick, Jason, & Tim come together as a team and family? What will become of Bat-Cow? Grant Morrison nears the end of his Batman family saga and he's ramped up the action and drama with each issue. Chris Burnham draws those pretty pictures he's famous for. Did I mention this series is still $2.99...Holding the line indeed!

Dr. Who: Prisoners Of Time #1 (IDW)

A twelve issue maxi-series featuring every incarnation of the Doctor in one massive storyline..? This sounds truly EPIC. Not like when the kids say "epic", but rather, when the word epic meant something. Bless you, IDW Publishing, David Tipton, and Simon Fraser.

Invincible #100 (Image)

Robert Kirkman's other long-running series hits the big milestone that Walking Dead hit a few months back. As with that series, Invincible has been a fun ride since the beginning. I admit I've fallen behind on this series, but seeing #100 on the racks this week will certainly light a fire under my ass to catch up.

Hawkeye #7 (Marvel)

Matt Fraction and David Aja make sweet, sweet love to you in comic book form. No grand, sweeping six-part soap operas. No Tie-Ins. No bullshit. Every single issue is a jumping on point, so why not jump on now. This issue, Clint & Kate are caught up in a hurricane in NYC and the proceeds from this issue will go to help those impacted by the real Hurricane Sandy last year. It's hella considerate and a damn fine series to boot.

Before Watchmen: Dollar Bill #1 (DC)

I'll admit, dear reader, I was hesitant about the entire Before Watchmen line of books initially, but the quality here in undeniable. Darwyn Cooke's Minutemen and Amanda Conner's Silk Spectre were both great reads last year. This one shot, written by original Watchmen editor Len Wein and featuring art by the legendary Steve Rude, focuses on a very minor (but very interesting) character from the Watchmen mythos. Also: Steve Rude! C'mon man, he created Nexus! NEEEEEXUS!!

What was it I saw in your eyes that night, Paula? Was it fear?

The bell rings. The Club assembles. The war begins anew. Cheers.

Damn good books - You Can't Win

For every piece of shit, half made up memoir like A Million Little Pieces by an asshole like James Frey, at least a dozen good ones fly underneath the radar. And this, ladies and gents, is one of them. The book in question as you might have guessed from the title, is William S. Burroughs' favorite book. You Can't Win by Jack Black. 

Jack Black around the age of 40.

No, not that hammy how-funny-to-be-a-stoner doughboy whose girth seems to take up more and more of the screen on my TV when I see him, but the genuine article. This is a much better Jack Black - a Jack Black with balls. You Can't Win opens up on a portrait of Mr. Black's face, no longer a criminal, but now a librarian. A respectable member of society, whose well-worn, lined face betrays his past, and shows that he has a story to tell.
At the heart of it, You Can't Win is the memoir of a Missouri boy, who decides to become a Yegg. A criminal. This isn't an instant decision however. We can start to see, as a reader where he might begin to look up to the romanticized life of Jesse James and wish to emulate them, but I think every boy does that. Now, when he is abandoned at a hotel by his father for weeks on end and left completely alone, and when his job as a 'bill collector' at a local saloon puts him in contact with a seemingly benign criminal element while showing the obvious cruelty of police that seals the deal.

Black writes much as Hemingway or Bukowski did, with terse uncluttered prose following easily off the page. This makes  the book impossible to put down as you want to read more about his experiences as a homeless highwayman. He does this effortlessly, without forcing the tropes that 'a page turner' would have upon the reader. Jack Black's recounting of his adventures in the criminal underworld offer something that isn't seem in the history books. His memorable language and plain and simple characterization turns him into an encyclopedia of American life. A slice of time that is long gone.

It is easy to fall into nostalgia, something that Black himself warns the reader against, while unintentionally swooning the reader with the story of his life.

'I'm not finding fault with these brave days of jungle music, synthetic liquor, and dimple-kneed maids, and anybody that thinks the world is going to the bowwows because of them ought to think back to San Francisco or any big city of 20 years ago - when train conductors steered suckers against the bunko men; when coppers located "work" for burglars and stalled them while they worked; when pickpockets paid the police so much a day for "exclusive privileges" and had to put a substitute "mob" in their district if they wanted to go out of town to a country fair for a week. Those were the days when there were saloons by the thousand; when the saloonkeeper ordered the police to pinch the Salvation Army for disturbing the peace by singing hymns in the street; when there were race tracks, gambling unrestricted, crooked prize fights; when there were cribs by the mile and hop joints by the score. These things may exist now, but if they do, I don't know where. I knew where they were then, and with plenty of money and leisure I did them all.'

While excellent, this isn't the most worthy part of the book for me. While it is indeed interesting, even light shedding to hear Jack Black speak of the olden days, what I really admire about the man is his moral character. Jack Black shows incredible resolve, moral fortitude, self-reliance and inability to feel sorry for himself or let others do it for him locks it into a unique niche when we are confronted by autobiographies that are written by a former criminal element.

There are three passages in the book, all of which are about prision and all of which are absolutely horrific. An excerpt if you will, where he describes being 'hot-boxed' for several days with a straight jacket on:

'Every hour Cochrane came in and asked if I was ready to give up the hop. When I denied having it, he tightened me up some more and went away. The torture became maddening. Some time during the second day I rolled over to the wall and beat my forehead against it trying to knock myself out. Cochrane came in, saw what I was doing, and dragged me back to the middle of the cell. I hadn't strength enough left to roll back to the wall, so I stayed there and suffered.' 

Compared to Black's unfiltered, raw approach, this is Mr. Frey's self-aggrandizing bullshit, wallowing in Bathos as he tries to speak of the travails of love.

A Million Little Pieces of Shit

"I start crying again. Softly crying. I think of Lilly and I cry. It's all I can do. Cry."

I could speak at length why I hate James Frey so much, but I'll save that for another day. Suffice to say that the majority of my fury focuses on the fact that Mr. Frey's book was on Opera, and has sold over five million copies, whereas most people have never heard of  Mr. Black's book. A crime more despicable than any of the burglaries that Mr. Black committed during his day.

The essay in the back of my copy of the book (printed by AK/Nabat books) contains an essay on the nature of criminality which speaks true today. What makes someone a criminal? Mr. Black asks. How can we prevent our children from becoming criminals? Mr. Black gives very few answers, but what he does do is draw upon his own experience.

He claims that the conditions that he suffered in prison made him more of a criminal, and the harder law-enforcement and society pushed against him, the more aggressively he pushed back. It was floggings and straight-jacket treatments that made him dangerous and savage, and it was the kindness of a Judge who convinced him to reform. Mr. Black suggests that in order to cut down on criminals, that more leniency is given for first-time offenders, an end to the death penalty and other cruel punishments, and more job-opportunities and support for ex-cons. Stating that the focus of prison should be on reform, rather than punishment.

After getting to know a man who has been on the other side of prison bars, and getting to know and like that man, it is hard to argue with that conclusion. Simply to read him and know that Americans were once a stoic, nosy, confident people with a nose for travel and adventure is balm, but Mr. Black has a great deal more to offer for the reader with a careful eye.  

The Club Of Heroes Episode 6: Django Con Carne

Zounds! It's the first ever movie review from the Club Of Heroes gang. Django Unchained was released over a month ago, but we're still talking about it. Evan leads Matt, Julie, & Chris through a conversation about the Antebellum, the Mandingo, and the Hero.

Walk, don't run, to your nearest download station and obtain your mp3 of this titanic undertaking!
It's waiting for you right HERE!

Time to rant about the X-Men

 Before I start this rant, let me get a couple things out of the way.

1)     I am a white male, thus I am mostly lacking in the minority department.

2)     I am straight and young, and thus very much enjoy seeing women in tight clothing.

Right, now, let us begin. Ever since their creation, the X-Men and the so-called ‘mutant problem’ has been metaphorical gold for writers writing about inequality. They were used as a metaphor for those of other races, including African-Americans and Latinos, and how the world at large maltreated them. It was a story about the evils of injustice and intolerance and about the few men who could rise above other’s hatred to become heroes. In recent years, thanks in part to Bryan Singer’s film adaptation and increasing tolerance, has seen the X-Men become metaphors for the gay community – the scene in Bobby Drake’s house and the line, “have you tried not being a mutant?,” is one of my absolute favorites in any version of the X-Men and epitomizes everything I’m talking about. It’s also home to several dozen other characters that were important firsts to the rising diversity of comic books, including Storm, a black woman, and Northstar, an openly gay man.

So, why in the Marvel NOW! reboot (Ha!) of a book that has been a beacon of progressive thought and tolerance, do I get this infuriating leap backwards?

Seriously, can anyone one tell me what comic book characters are looking at when they pose like this?

Firstly, why has Storm reverted back to the 1980s? Secondly, GODDAMMIT MARVEL!! Now, there’s gonna be about twelve million feminists out who scream foul, but an all-female X-Men team is the stupidest thing that has happened to the X-Men since Deadpool in that crappy Wolverine solo movie. In the comments section of the page I read about this on, about three dozen feminist posters were all singing the praises of this book, but do not think for a second that this is a big move forward for the feminist movement because it ISN’T; this is simply a fanboy’s wet dream in ink-and-paper form.

Don’t believe me? Let’s examine Storm for a second. We’re gonna hear people say that Storm’s doing great things for the cause because she’s a woman leading the X-Men and let me be the first to say that is something that should have happened. If you remember, Cyclops did his whole go-crazy-and-kill-Professor-X thing in Avengers versus X-Men, which makes Storm really the most viable and experienced leader in the whole franchise now. (Don’t say Wolverine; he’s barely qualified to be on a team, yet alone lead one.) She should absolutely be in charge, but she isn’t leading the X-Men, she’s leading the all-female all-gimmick X-Men. C’mon ladies, which is more feminist? A strong female character leading a team of men and women alike because she’s the most qualified and capable of all of them or a strong female character leading the superpowered version of Totally Bloody Spies? All this book implies is that Storm, despite being the best leader the X-Men has right now, is incapable or unworthy of leading anyone with a penis – despite the fact that she clearly is.

In this diagram, the big green guy is Marvel Comics and the woman is... well, a woman.

In the announcement, we were also told that Jubilee would be the focus of the book, but again, I ask why is an all-female team necessary for such a book? Is Jubilee not good enough to be the central character when there are blokes around? What was the conversation at Marvel?

IDIOT EXECUTIVE ONE: Let’s do a book focused around Jubilee.

IDIOT EXECUTIVE TWO: That’s a great idea. What would it be about?

IDIOT EXECUTIVE ONE: Well, we could do a coming-of-age story, a finding-my-place-in-the-world story… Maybe focus on her strained relationship with her family, or her Asian heritage, her struggle with vampirism (Is she still a vampire? I’m not sure.)… Maybe regaining her powers after the events of AvX? What about her feelings of betrayal about Cyclops or her father-daughter relationship with Wolverine?

IDIOT EXECUTIVE TWO: Oooh… I’m not sure about those last two. We shouldn’t put men anywhere near Jubilee.

IDIOT EXECUTIVE ONE: You’re right. The mostly-male demographic of comic book readers would be completely distracted from the cute Asian-American protoganist with a lot of room for development and story, if there was a burly male who appears in half a dozen other books currently being printed in the near vicinity.

Also, regular women don’t stand like that. Scroll back to that cover real quick. Take it in. Go on, I'll wait. Right, now notice that my beloved Kitty (fun fact: I have a small crush on the fictional Kitty Pryde, just ignore it) is eschered slightly for viewing purposes and both her and Rachel seem to be pulling Captain Morgan poses because otherwise you couldn’t see their boobs and/or legs (and what’s the point of a woman without those, right Marvel?); and Psylocke just spreads apart her thighs, then points a penis… I mean, phallic symbol… I mean, sword right down in front of them. And I guarantee you there are two idiot executives at Marvel thinking that they’ve made the world a better place with their epicly progressive version of the X-Men. (Insert aggravated scream here.)

This is not me. Just clarifying.

Of course, this whole book becomes even less feminist when we look at the creative team behind it. I don’t have anything personal against them: I’ve heard wonderful things about Brian Wood’s work (though I admittedly have not read any) – we even recommended his work on the Star Wars book to you in a recent article here at Club of Heroes – and Olivier Coipel’s artwork is absolutely stunning, but shouldn’t a book proclaimed as a bold step forward by so many idiot commenters on the Internet be written and/or drawn by a woman?! Part of the reason that the Birds of Prey were able to overcome the schtick of a gimmicky all-female superteam and become a high quality book was that Gail Simone (one of my favorite writers in superhero comics books by the way; her run on Batgirl is one of the highlights of the New 52 for me) was writing it. Even the recently cancelled Blue Beetle had Ig Guara – a Puerto Rican – to inform the Latino aspects that were often key to the misadventures of Jaime Reyes. This whole book just seems to reek of massive faux pas (what’s the plural for faux pas? Is it faux pas? I want the plural here.). Aren’t comics supposed to have moved on from the bad old days of racism, sexism, and any other bad ‘isms’ you can think of?

Although admittedly, we have advanced quite a lot.

Don’t get me wrong: I’m not saying there shouldn’t be female characters in comic books at all or that they shouldn’t be drawn to be sexy. I just wish I’d gotten to see another step forward in the issues of our times addressed in the covers of the X-Men, rather than what I consider to be a step backward. Give me a book with several females, even mostly females, and you’ve got a book that can be progressive and makes for some great storytelling when the right creators are involved (and some terrible results if they are not. See harem anime). Make them all female: then that’s a gimmick, and nowhere near the idea of true equality that our society is about (or should be about) and that the stories we tell should be reflecting.

Oh, well. Rants end and life goes on. Thanks to Marvel.com, smosh.com and blogspot.com for the images… and until next time, may your life be not so sexist and unequal as the Marvel Universe. Ta-ra for now.

50 Great tattoo ideas from the Colonel!

             Now y’see kiddos, as Col. Orville Redenbacher was a military man, he saw many a tattoo on many a bicep, many a shoulder and many a keyster. So, who would be better qualified than to give a little advice on what would be sure-fire tattoos that any one would be proud to display on their flesh? No one! That’s who!

            If you’d take the Ol’ Col.’s advice with a little nudge and a wink, go ahead and print this list out or write down all of them on your flabby meat-bag body somewhere in preparation of living a regret-free life full of beautiful body art. That way, the next time you happen to be wandering drunkenly at night, retching up the eighth six-pack of Busch you imbibed and screaming about how Dr. Otto Ocatvius is now Spiderman and Parker is dead while Aunt May yet lives as you stumble into the nearest Tattoo parlor, you’ll know what to do.

1) A life-like portrait of Gary Spivey, complete with his helmet hair and all white leisure suit, cuddling a naked Chihuahua in his arms.

2) A clown armed with a flamethrower, incinerating a group of mimes as they perform for children.

3) Richard Simmons in full-gallop, holding his arms out like an airplane as he holds pinwheels in each hand.

4) Paula Deen, striking a pin-up pose as she bathes in a large tub filled with butter.

5) A portrait of yourself, wearing a bow-tie and Groucho Marx glasses.

6) Superman sobbing uncontrollably, putting a gun to his head as onlookers begin to run in terror.

7) Little Caesar dressed as a mobster and holding a Tommy-gun, getting ready to do a drive by on the Yo! Noid and the 90’s Pizza Hut mascot.

8) Chair-face Chippendale carving a chair in his own likeness.

9) Jonah Hex riding a T-rex, shooting a Gatling gun and smoking a cigar.

10) A zombified mallard, waddling towards an old lady sitting at a park bench feeding birds.

11) Jay Garrick at a rest home, the tennis balls on his walker on fire as he is being chased by an orderly with a bucket and sponge.

12) A picture of your ex sitting on the couch, crying, masturbating or eating a large tub of ice-cream…or all three at once!

13) The Pillsbury Doughboy with a Hitler mustache.

14) A rotisserie chicken with a massive fork stuck in it, as it oozes blood.

15) A still-life of a large bowl of fruit.

16) A full-sized rendition of Hieronymous Bosch’s  The Garden of Earthly delights all over your body.

17) You giving the thumbs up to yourself on your bicep

18) A penguin with a cowboy hat and boots, smoking a cigarette and holding a revolver

19) Frankenstein’s Monster in a Tuxedo complete with high-heels, fish nets, a boa feather neck scarf, as well as a top hat and cane.

20) The lyrics to a jingle you wrote containing your social-security number, driver’s license ID and any other important information.

21) A seemingly random assortment of lines across your body that creates the illusion of a floating square when you view it at precisely the right angle.

22) A series of anatomically correct organ drawings to assist surgeons as you try to yolo your way out of life.

23) A depiction of a parachuter whose parachute has caught fire and the ground below is covered in very pointy spikes.

24) Patrick Steward as a Centaur dressed in a dinner jacket with coat-tails, in your tramp stamp area.

25) Cobra Commander and Destro making out with their masks on, as a rainbow appears in the background.

26) Mickey Mouse stabbing Mortimer Mouse to death in an alleyway (extra points for it being in black and white)

27) Audrey II screaming ‘Feed Me Seymour’ in a word bubble, in your tramp stamp area.

28) Repo-Man stealing your heart with a banner beneath saying ‘Love is Eternal’.

29) A picture of a sad, fat little man making star-ship noises and smacking an X-Wing made of Legos and a TIE-Fighter made of Legos alone in his room.

30) Your favorite pay-stub.

31) A sad-clown watching a snuff-film, laughing uncontrollably as he holds a cap gun to his head.

32) An M.C. Escher depiction of Calvin, pissing on Calvin, pissing on Calvin ad infintium on his infamous ‘House of Stairs’ drawing.

33) Wolverine slicing tomatoes in the back of a McDonald’s with his claws.

34) Batman fighting Dick Cheney, who is holding an umbrella in a defensive stance and grimacing menacingly.

35) Ben Franklin in S&M gear in a rainstorm, he is doughy but muscular. He is flying a kite with a string that is attached to a nipple-ring; he seems incredibly giddy with anticipation.

36) Abraham Lincoln holding a Katana.

37) A pair of sunglasses on your face.

38) Lipstick kisses all over your neck and face.

39) Soda Popinski and Zangief sharing a drink at a bar.

40) Richard Nixon with a baby’s head.

41) Roller skates on your feet.

42) Dollar signs over your eye lids.

43) Toast being fired out of a toaster, before being caught by Powdered Toast Man.

44) An Eagle with Boxing gloves over it’s talons, punching Osama in the face with the caption ‘We got ‘im!’

45) Mr. Rodger’s covered in blood, with a machete in his hands and a maniacal glint in his eye.

46) Satan going through a car-wash, he is looking directly at you, smiling and giving a thumbs-up gesture. His nipples are hard as rocks.  

47) A man using a magic eight-ball as he walks into traffic without realizing it.

48) The Joker in a thong posing in a mirror as ‘I’m sexy and I know it’ plays from a nearby boom-box.

49) Forty two pieces of jigsaw dotted around your body (including one of the sole of your left foot) which when assembled create an image of the Anti-Life Equation.

50) Conan the Barbarian drooling from the mouth, his eyes rolling in the back of his head as he swings a foam sword wildly in the air, riding one of those little horsey rides that they have for kids outside of grocery stores.

The Colonel's Picks For January 23rd, 2013

What's poppin' its way to the top of the Colonel's pile this week? Goodies from the Big Two and the Smaller Two! These four-color flights of fancy are available at a comic book retailer near you. You can also purchase these for your iPad or other mobile device, if you're some kind of nancy.

-Young Avengers #1 (Marvel)

Journey Into Mystery by Kieron Gillen was once one of Marvel's best monthly offerings. The story of Young Loki continues in this series as he recruits a team of young heroes to combat evil and such. the new Miss America from Joe Casey's Vengeance series will have a starring role as well. Young Avengers is brought to you by Gillen, with art by the vastly underrated Jamie McKelvie. Don't count on getting the Bryan Lee O'Malley variant cover though, that thing is ebay-bound.

-The Answer #1 (Dark Horse)

Mike Norton alert! The creator of Battlepug teams with current Marvel rising star Dennis Hopeless to bring us the Answer, a masked crime fighter who adorns his face with punctuation. To be honest, this old Colonel doesn't know much else, but the cover did tickle my comic book fancy.

-Justice League #16 (DC)

The Throne of Atlantis storyline crossover thing continues! Aquaman is pitted against his teammates in the Justice League while Atlantis and America stand on the brink of war. DC's strongest collaborative duo Geoff Johns and Ivan Reis promise to get you wet. The Shazam! back-up feature has been starting to pick up steam as well, so the $3.99 cover price is earned with this package.

-FF #3 (Marvel)

This series has been a real delight so far and the high point in the Marvel Now relaunch so far. I consider it a true Marvel Pop Art Production in the Lee/Kirby tradition. The pace has been a little slow thus far, but with Marvel's first family finally out in space this title can get on with its own shananigans. Matt Fraction writes the words and Mike Allred draws the pictures. Also, She-Hulk happens.

-It Girl & The Atomics #6 (Image)

Speaking of Allred, a new issue of It Girl & The Atomics hits today. If you're unfamiliar, these characters originally appeared in Allred's Madman Comics series. Jamie S. Rich, Chynna Clugston Flores, and Laura Allred bring us a solo Mr. Gum story. Fans of Blue Monday should note the change in art duties this issue.

And those are the picks of the litter this week, dear reader. Come back next week and I'll have a Paula Deen update. My agents are this close to uncovering her subterranean lair.

Cheers.

Club Of Heroes Episode 5: Groped for Dog Food

"She gets groped for dog food, nobody wants that."

Club Of Heroes Assemble! The best of the best of the New 52 is without a doubt Aquaman. Chris, Evan, Seb, and new recruit Jamie Bomer discuss the first year of this hit title and what creators Geoff Johns, Ivan Reis, and Paul Pelletier may have in store for us as the Throne Of Atlantis crossover begins.

Get it here, before Mera has to hurt someone.

How E.L. James inspired this insipid word puddle.

When I was first approached by Chris about the possibility of writing columns on our little slice of the Internet, I was as joyous as a squealing school-girl at a One Direction concert. But then, disaster hit me. WHAT THE HELL DO I WRITE ABOUT?

It was the equivalent of a literary brain freeze. Instead of delicious ice cream, I was surrounded by 31 metaphorical flavors of topics I could cover, and I gorged myself on all of them, and gotten a big ol' headache. Furthermore, I wondered if I could do it. As in, could I even write again? In my weer days, where weer was a word that you could use and it didn't get red underline I used to write all the time. In fact, there was nary a day that I didn't put the proverbial plumed pen that I had plucked from a peacock to parchment. But did I still have it? The spunk, the chutzpah, the moxie, the spunkchutzpahmoxie? Oh yes my dear audience, I did wonder. And while my colleagues assured that my work was good, even passable compared to the previous monkey hired to throw poo at a list of words on the wall, I still had my doubts.


But then, an epiphany! You heard right, me with my glasses and poor posture and awkwardly sweaty body had an epiphany! This picture should sum up what I mean:

E.L. James gave me Fifty Shades of Hope

There it is. My realization. If a Twilight fan-fiction can become a best selling series then I have nothing, absolutely nothing to worry about. Do you think E.L. James gave a shit about being shitty writer who ripped off Stephanie Meyer and drilled deep into the previously un-penetrated (see what I did there?) soft-porn for grannies and aging mothers who have to live out their sexual fantasies vicariously market? Fuck no. She penetrated that market. With words. And sentences. Not many of them making that much sense honestly. So thank you E.L. James, for breaking the scales away from my eyes. If you can turn a bag of shit into money, then I should at least be able to make some people laugh for free with my sweet, sweet tears and sweat and blood that I bleed from my finger-tips when I hammer against my poor keyboard with my arthritic hands as you make me type about you. Damn you.

But what of the subject matter? What can I talk about? What in my misbegotten years could I form a coherent thought of and share with other people? Could I talk comics? Hell yes I could! But Chris is way more informed when it comes to that subject matter, in fact I wouldn't be surprised if he had absorbed by osmosis some of his favorite issues and knew them by heart, line for line. Movies? Television? I haven't watched much TV at all in the last decade of my life or so, but there were a few shows that I kept up with now and then, using my trusted Fonzie method to slap my rabbit eared bedecked aging Zenith into submission. I did go to the cinema pretty frequently, but not as much as my buddy who is occasionally across-the-pond, who is already writing here under the guise of some
mysterious butt-monkey for a certain Col. whose name rimes with Roarville Rocketboxer.

So what then? Toys? Video Games? Music? Nostalgia of yesteryear? My brain filled to the brim with possibilities, bubbled and broiled over like a Lava Lamp left on too long. Then, it fizzled. Hell, I don't know. I'll talk about whatever I damn well please. Starting with this intro, and maybe working itself from there. I could dig through my reprints of EC Comics or talk about how Hungry Hungry Hippos changed my life, or that time I was a radio pirate. Or even Dino-Riders.

So yeah, stay tuned for 'content' whatever that means. It probably means more of this, which if you like it, is good, and if you don't, then you should probably ignore it or send me hate mail Toodles!